first of all that's it. we're no longer gonna make krill puns like that. it's over. that's the last one to prove my point. it's not funny. they never were funny. they aint clever. "there's no stinkers on it" come on we're all adults, no need for this shit anymore. yeah and if you wanna see another krill interview then tell em to reply to my questions.
hayden and
krill together again watz the worst that could happen but ava luna's also there so something could go wrong
ok here's wat ~went down~
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| krill probably should be in jail for mail tampering like this |
wat i packed to bring with: 2 sweaters, 2 inch ass shirt (unworn entire time), toothpaste (forgot toothbrush), 12 pack of bud light
™, 6 pack of spotted cow, 1 bottle of brandy, 3 cans of coke, 2 bottles of pepsi, 1 funnel
i make my way down south but forget that i'm outta
washer fluid so after a half hour of limited visibility i decide to stop and pick some up. i also need gum. stopped, filled it up to the top, cleaned the 'shield and forgot the gum somewhere in that dumb town. during this time my ipod-tape converter shits the bed so it's either listen to the new disco doom with the fuckin thing clicking every other second or something from my tape collection. so i chose
bolero first and listened to the rest of my boring collection before entering the birthland of krill. hit some traffic, threw some change in these things called "toles"(?) finally i'm close enough but "chicago" has f-ed up streets, like this is a completely plausible angle to take here. i turned onto a street then panicked when i thought it was a one way so i quickly veered into an alley. it wasn't a one way. just a jerk driving the wrong way. some guy called me a bitch when i backed up onto said road. broad city's a weird show. i don't think we'll be seeing a second season of it unfortunately.
after squaring [still driving] around the "venue" for several (38) minutes looking for a discreet place to park i get fed up and text captain krill "where can i park". i eventually park and make myself a pepsi and brandy to drink on the walk. i bump into j from kray himself who is smiling devilishly but i have to finish my "pepsi" [ ;)] quick. then we gotta walk up 4 fricken flights of stairs BUT AT LEAST I DIDN'T HAVE TO PAY TO GET IN RIGHT?
ian bleached his hair. a-rat looked the same. (those are the other 2 in kroll) basically was supposed to be a big night because i was in town and lots (a whole lot) of people wanted to meet me.
one those people,
sharpless,
is beginning to bald makes me get up out of my chair just to go meet him. i drink the beer i'm given. basically he's got his "gang" with him. (2 girls his size)
the first act up, i don't remember the name and i really don't feel like looking it up even though it would be so easy and convenient to look it up in this digital age we live in, was a little out there. i wouldn't say i enjoyed it because i was drinking beers with sharpless and
geronimo! respectively but later in the night i told the guy i thought it was good. i lied.
next up was krill or ava luna, must've been krill. joan asked me wat i wanted to hear but we both understood there was truly only
one that needed to be heard. well
they mostly play lucky leaves stuff and some newer crud but sharpless desperately wants infinite power. his wish goes unfulfilled. we joke about small wonder. i yell out Street Level (stay with me on this. this will be recurring)
i try to throw sharpless at krill because just a lil drunk (who orders vodka and coke? but it's ok. it was free)
now i remember krill played before ava luna because i had to piss so bad in the middle of
their set. after holding it in and probably causing internal damage
it ends butt there's a huge line for the bathroom that i wait in like an idiot before learning i can pee on the roof.
ava luna up next
after hearing
Sears Roebuck M&Ms i tell myself i won't pirate the new Ava Luna but the rest of their stuff is fair game.
i tell carlos he doesn't look mexican.
i pee on the roof, sending my stream over the ledge. it was exhilarating. i will make several more trips up there throughout the night.
Being completely honest i missed out on oshwa because of other shenanigans that involved alcohol and trips to the roof top. introduced to a lot of people that i immediately forgot their names. didn't think i would ever talk about
this to anybody but i did because of the circumstances.
a chick complemented me on my sweater but of course that didn't lead to anything.
i carry an amp down four flights of stairs because i'm a nice guy/drunk/professional stagehand.
we spend the night at the furman mansion. ian and a-rat went to their respective parents homes. most of ava luna was enthralled with this norwegian cheese but i was like it just cheese. it's not like it's smoked cheddar cheese. that's good cheese.
pretty sure i see a ghost and then i pass out on a couch.
the more famous furman son, the one that has his own wikipedia page, tells me good morning but it's not like i listen to his music anyways.
i am served a great breakfast that i totally deserved because i'm very talented too. i even got a prize for finishing off some orange juice. it was easy because i was hungover and dehydrated.
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| prize from krill dad |
i take a long ass nap.
j. furm is stuck riding with me to milwaukee. we drive through evanston, the home of Jeremy Piven, but who cares. listened to some classic fat history month. he really loves fat history month. i'm not even kidding.
we stop at sat nite duets house when we're finally in milwaukee. ben or steve opens the door, probably ben but whoever it was they were very happy to see me. we go inside and i share my beer because even though we've been over this, i'm a pretty nice guy. instead of playing blitz they introduce me to their new "game" Shitty Graphics Winter Olympics. it's a bad game to play sorta sober. so me and Ben play blitz. NFL Blitz. yeah i know i haven't won yet in no less than 10 tries. it's a neck and neck game before it comes down to the final minute. i begin to sense that Ben is trying to purposely give this game away to end my suffering but i aint gonna let that slide so down by 4 and out of field goal range i purposely throw the hail mary short. the streak continues.
anyway time to pack up for the ~show~
another pepsi and brandy is made for the walk to the bar and i almost freeze to death even while wearing a sweater under my coat
i arrive exactly at the same time as the snd car. there was room in that car for me. i help them carry in some stuff because i'm very strong and again, nice.
krill's there of course but so are the fatty acids and the rat. the
rat baptist
i'm wearing an ovlov shirt. not the "trollvlov" one though
Blonder was the first act and pretty tight. i think their one guitar player was that kid from even stevens all grown up/ not shia. beans was his name, right?
the fatty acids josh breakfast and his boys were good, playing not my favorite songs but some songs i like along with some i've never heard before. one guy in the band is a teacher. another one is the rat. the rat baptist.
i distinctly remember krill played purity of heart but ignored the crowd (my) yells for Street Level.
krill is a good band live. but sometimes it's like jonah thinks he can channel his inner rick from pile, which is hilarious, but doesn't quite work out.
sat nite duets mesmerized the crowd specifically julian from ava luna with *
big worm*. they also played some new bangers that were quite "spooky". every goddamn time i've seen them i have told steve personally to play summer of punishment but every time i never hear it.
they wanted me to come up and take over for joe on
genghis khan but i had to decline in order to keep my journalistic integrity. actually i was about to but then i felt like puking and i didn't want to become "the guy who puked after krill twice". i thought i was gonna die. and it was better off in the trustworthy/dirty hands of the rat baptist. by the way jonah please delete those photos on your phone especially the one that's a selfie of you with me hurling in the background. i mean i could've took some embarrassing photos located in the mansion but i didn't. you're welcome.
anyways i've regretted it every day since. it was a weekend of missed opportunities
we walk back to sat nite duets place. andrew from sat nite duets insists on insulting my hometown and profession but
he's a dirty hippie that needs a haircut so who cares what he thinks. he also doesn't care for pile wtf.
my 12 pack ends up being shared around is exactly wat i intended when i brought it with. i still have 5 beers left as i'm writing this, probably only
3 2 though after i publish it though. some guy (probably questionable and boyscout andrew) puts on shaggy and i forget wat happens until we head down to the snd dungeon where two ava lunars are sleeping but in the back there's an enclosed space where the party continues.
was it in milwaukee where i talked to someone about george lopez and his theme song,
lowrider or was that minneapolis? heck that could've been chicago too. i don't know. (update: george lopez getting arrested for public drunkenness in a canadian casino is the greatest thing)
i tell them to give
lvl up a listen but immediately after the first song's over everybody else decides it's time to go to bed. i head towards my couch upstairs but there is a persistent snoring. it's ethan from ava luna who's snoring i'm certain. i tweet some shit about it and pass out.
wake up to a usual creep from sat nite duets watching me sleep.
i planned on playing a game of blitz but andrew's harassment led me to leave early.
Minneapolis is currently in the "fuck me why is this shit still going on?" stage of winter and i'm sliding all over town trying not to hit hipsters. when i get to the ~kitty kat club~ i have time to "krill" so me and a-rat discuss our jewish summer camp experiences in Wisconsin growing up
a lot of these
idiots hipsters are wearing scarves.
the first "duo" is called L.I.V. and they're weird but ok at the same time and have a trampoline. the highlight of their set is when they start a game that pits Chuckles (ethan from a.l.) vs dan goldin doppelganger. chuckles wins a fake disguise and dan goldin doppelganger wins a t-shirt. so yeah.
my final viewing of krill is up next. they finally play my request for fresh pond but totally ignore the cries for streel level from me, julian and carlos. it's probably the 5th best krill show i've ever seen and i've seen 5.
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| krill in action |
ava luna rocks again but nobody has any idea what's in store next.
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| the snorer |
tickle torture. jesus christ. they shit on everyone. the guy had party streamers and candy and balloons(?). the place was rocking in full party mode before the dude stripped down to his underwear. this is who the dan goldin doppelganger came to see. should i get a tattoo.
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| a-rat got tickle tortured and im pretty sure his sweater is inside out |
tickle torture had backup dancers and shel silverstein on keys.
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| look at shel up there with all his wisdom |
you're probably asking yourself wat the heck hayden why are there only pictures from minneapolis? ok here's the answer, i spaced out. completely forgot that it might be relevant to have them for this post. and because i didn't drink much in minneapolis.
the end
or is it
yeah. it is
krill's not touring for awhile after this or who knows i'm not looking it up
