Interview: Farewell Geronimo!

After almost 7 years of being together Geronimo! is throwing in the beer soaked towel. And since they no longer have to worry about an interview with yours truly hampering their career, they agreed to reflect on their time as a band and their decision to bring a guy like me on tour. 

you'll find this interview with Geronimo! full of inside jokes. If you have not seen the teenage-fantasy-romance drama Beautiful Creatures then you might not understand certain phrases like "uncle loves google".   

first of all i think it would be awesome if you would just clear the air and say that bringing me on tour did not cause you to end Geronimo!

Kelly: We only ended Geronimo! because we accomplished what we set out to do; Make a million dollars

Ben: I thought it was clear that Beautiful Creatures caused to us end Geronimo!...

Matthew: Gee, I wish I could do that but...no just kidding.  The two things are in no way related.

i would also like Matt to say he's sorry for kidnapping me in Rockford and promise he'll never do it again

Matt: I will never apologize.  I was demonstrating a life lesson to you Hayden.  Many life lessons, really.

Ben: Rockford can be scary.

i first came across Geronimo! 4 years ago thanks to this. what a strange four years- especially the last one- it's been

Kelly: It's not been so strange

Ben: Oh man, it was so cool of Dan to put us on that. I remembering listening to that comp after it came out, having never heard of any of the other bands and really digging the whole thing.

Matt: Indeed it has  been.

this is a hayden original photo

mermaid jay leno

Kelly: No comment

Ben: So many things come to mind.

Matt: I'm sure she's a perfectly nice gal who wouldn't appreciate the name calling.  She should cut back on drinking.

uncle loves google

Ben: That’s my internet password to everything now. I don’t think anybody else gets this reference unfortunately. Google it!

Kelly: He does- I googled it!

Matt: Uncle does indeed love google.  You can verify this by looking on google. 

i'm afraid i'm now conditioned that every time i hear Euphoria i have to piss

Kelly: I get afraid about things like that sometimes, too

Ben: How shall I phrase this? If you find yourself blaming yourself, you’ve got no one to blame but yourself.

Matt: Not my problem.

you guys actually knew Ovlov from the very beginning and been pals ever since

Kelly: They covered "Sink to the Bottom" by Fountains of Wayne

Ben: One word: Beer30. Many words: They are awesome, nice, fun dudes who happen to play my favorite music. I was hooked since I first heard The Valley while booking our first tour out east. We have Dan Goldin to thank for recommending we drop them a line.

Matt: I respected the sickness of their gnar and the extended feedback of their set, which I believe Ben has on video.

they've threatened to quit like 3 times and have terrible hygiene

Kelly: Theo is a major babe

Ben: For the record, they smell great. Oops, I mean grapes. They smell grapes. I actually own a hat with Steve “deshirted” on it. It’s one of my most prized possessions.

Matt: Smells come and go but Ovlov is forever.

Kelly your future in-laws place is haunted. i'm sure of it

Kelly: That might be true. One time that I stayed there, I was making some toast in the kitchen. I set it on a 6 out of 10. When it popped up like 4 minutes later it was barely toasted at all!

will i be invited back for the reunion tour to raise hell again

Kelly: If we do a reunion tour you can play the guitar at the shows

Ben: You are officially invited back for the reunion tour.

Matt: Ever hear of punctuation?  You can come on tour if you buy a really nice suit like you talked about doing.

please don't let Matt ever drive me around again. just thought i would reiterate 

Matt: I will definitely be driving you around again in the very near future for very prolonged periods of time.  Get used to it.

what's next after Geronimo!?

Kelly: Depression and snacks. Maybe a Black Sabbath cover band - this is a for real maybe

Ben: I think I’m going take some time off and just stare at stuff for a while.

Matt: Getting into the pyramid-scheme biz and making it big time.

what deals can i get through Matt on groupon?

Matt: All the deals.   Here's a good one.

Ben: Oh man, so many great deals on jacuzzis.

thank god Jose's (A Severe Joy) place wasn't haunted

Kelly: It might be. One time I stayed there and I was making some toast. I set it on a medium setting and when I went back like 4 minutes later there was no toast at all!

Ben: What??? Jose’s place burned to the ground 10 years ON THIS VERY DAY.

every time i hang out with ovlov we end up going to a mall :(

Kelly: You guys all have expensive taste in sneakers. Lots of good sneakers at the mall

Ben: That sounds awesome.

Matt: Better than hanging out with a volvo and going to the llam

i almost forgot strawpeedo and all of it's glory

Kelly: I thought you strawpeedo'd a 40 oz?

Ben: I talk about trying this infinity times more than I try it.

wats the best part of bringing hayden on tour 

Kelly: That you didn't drive

Ben: No kidding, it was really fun having Hayden along with. He’s a fun guy to have around, especially in tour situations where you don’t know anyone going into house show or something. Sort of turns us into a small posse. Plus, at times tour can get a little monotonous. When I look over and see Hayden having fun, it reminds me that, oh yeah, this IS fun. You know? Anyway, how is Hayden these days?

Matt: Kidnapping him in my car on the way to Rockford. But also he was a pleasure to have along in general.  Watching him be force fed booze on the couch in Grand Rapids.  Seeing him cross the parking lot in his wonderfully bad sweater with a hot and ready from little caesars. Going out with him to the van later that night during the show to eat a slice. That was a nice little Hayden moment.

Ben: For the record, I like your sweaters.

whats the worst part of bringing hayden on tour 

Kelly: That you didn't drive

Ben: The constant beatings. He’s merciless.

Matt: I'll say what I want.  I didn't have any objections to Hayden's presence. The inevitability of goodbye. 

i gained 10 pounds 

on a scale of 9-10 what do you give Beautiful Creatures?

Kelly: 11

Ben: a 10, duh
Matt: 10. Obviously.

when can we go back to wagon trails and i don't get harassed by camels

Kelly: In the winter is good because the camels all die by then

call me snake

sorry you have to do most of the work here; i'm pretty terrible you know

Kelly: You're an interviewing pioneer, Hayden

Ben: You’re doin’ great Snake.

i'm still pissed off that you didn't let me play Philadelphia Freedom when arriving in Philly; you stating that it was an "Elton John free van"

Kelly: I actually love the song 'Rocket Man' 

Ben: Did we really say that? Sorry Hayden, that wasn’t very cool. To be fair though, I don’t think we’ve ever played Elton John on purpose in the van...

Matt: You must have mistaken me for someone who cares.

does Ben still dig out of garbage cans in parks to find cds to listen to

Matt:  Probably

Ben: I have no shame in being a dedicated music lover.

when is the next time we'll spend some "quality time in a hot tub"? ;) 

Kelly: If we had some sort of time machine we could be in the hot tub right now

Ben: As soon as you get on those sweet Groupon jacuzzi deals!!!!

Matt: Soon I hope.  When are you getting a hot tub in Milwaukee Hayden?

i almost broke my neck falling down the stairs the next morning. that place is haunted (remember the pillow)

Kelly: I think it might be haunted. When I stayed there last time I was making some toast. I set the toaster on 5 for just a medium toasting. When I came back about 4 minutes later it was a bagel instead of bread!

Pittsburgh was a fun show but there was no toilet paper  so i had to use left over kleenex in the nearby trash can. i thought this interview could mostly be about the tour

Kelly: I think that I had to use some notebook paper 

Ben: Sometimes you gotta wipe one for the tour gods, you know?

why is taco bell so good and why didn't we go there everyday

Kelly: We did go there every day. Your tour notes seem a little unreliable

Ben: I think that was the tour where we started the rule “If you’re wondering if taco bell is a good idea, it is”. I wish we had hit it up more. Crap.

Matt: No one can explain the extravagant mysteries of taco bell's greatness.  I don't know why we didn't go there every day.  Probably to stave off the diarrhea 

remember when Darl wore a Pile shirt with Theo & Ben to make it a Pile gang? i like pile more than all of their bands combined

Kelly: I think you compare things to Pile a lot

Hail Pile
Matt: Here it is.  A hail pile.

 

you guys played with krill...(rest of this question has been omitted) 

Kelly: I thought they played really great

not even a question, just thought i would put it out there. Jonah from krill is so lazy

Matt: You love him and you know it.

every time i see krill they play i am the cherry because they don't have any better songs

Kelly: I know it's cheap to say but my favorite song is 'Infinite Power'

Matt:   Infinite Power is so dope dawg

i thought lobster was ok but not worth the effort

Kelly: I don't think I'll be eating lobster again and I can't stop thinking about the turds

Ben: For the record, it looked gross. I’m glad it happened, but yeah...

Matt:  totally agree, though the bibs were cute.

you played with Ovlov like 3 maybe 4 times on tour and they struggled  and i got way too drunk at all of them. 

Kelly: They played the greatest cover of 'Smells Like Teen Spirit' that I've ever heard in Lowell. they were all drunk and Jon was throwing beer cans at them while playing

Ben: Hayden, I think you spelled “snuggled” wrong. But yeah, they snuggled hard.

let the record show that Nick from Kal Marks owns a vhs case for Con Air but the physical copy was no where to be found

Kelly: You got it

Ben: Yeah, that’s real the reason Geronimo! is calling it quits. So much expectation, so much disappointment.

no, Electronic Parrot is not my favorite song off the new record no matter what happened in the hot tub

Kelly: That shouldn't be anyone's favorite song of anything

Ben: Hey man, your secret is safe.

Matt:  Steve from Ovlov said it's his favorite track.  I've got an electronic pet carrot, my best friend is a ferret.

Oh and don't think I forgot about Ben's cat eating my pizza
Ben: Never Forget
       #pizzamurder2014

At your last show are you gonna scream "Geronimo!" and jump off the stage?
Ben: I will jump off the stage and yell "Geronimo!" if everyone else is doing it
Kelly: At our last show I want to take my guitar and ride it like a skateboard into the audience and have people hold me up and I can pretend I'm surfing. I don't skateboard though and I'd probably injure a lot of people before dropping head first onto the ground. With my last dying words I will gargle through the blood "....geronimo"
Matt: No way.

dang it. we forgot to call the dump gal