Interview: Farewell Geronimo!

After almost 7 years of being together Geronimo! is throwing in the beer soaked towel. And since they no longer have to worry about an interview with yours truly hampering their career, they agreed to reflect on their time as a band and their decision to bring a guy like me on tour. 

you'll find this interview with Geronimo! full of inside jokes. If you have not seen the teenage-fantasy-romance drama Beautiful Creatures then you might not understand certain phrases like "uncle loves google".   

first of all i think it would be awesome if you would just clear the air and say that bringing me on tour did not cause you to end Geronimo!

Kelly: We only ended Geronimo! because we accomplished what we set out to do; Make a million dollars

Ben: I thought it was clear that Beautiful Creatures caused to us end Geronimo!...

Matthew: Gee, I wish I could do that but...no just kidding.  The two things are in no way related.

i would also like Matt to say he's sorry for kidnapping me in Rockford and promise he'll never do it again

Matt: I will never apologize.  I was demonstrating a life lesson to you Hayden.  Many life lessons, really.

Ben: Rockford can be scary.

i first came across Geronimo! 4 years ago thanks to this. what a strange four years- especially the last one- it's been

Kelly: It's not been so strange

Ben: Oh man, it was so cool of Dan to put us on that. I remembering listening to that comp after it came out, having never heard of any of the other bands and really digging the whole thing.

Matt: Indeed it has  been.

this is a hayden original photo

mermaid jay leno

Kelly: No comment

Ben: So many things come to mind.

Matt: I'm sure she's a perfectly nice gal who wouldn't appreciate the name calling.  She should cut back on drinking.

uncle loves google

Ben: That’s my internet password to everything now. I don’t think anybody else gets this reference unfortunately. Google it!

Kelly: He does- I googled it!

Matt: Uncle does indeed love google.  You can verify this by looking on google. 

i'm afraid i'm now conditioned that every time i hear Euphoria i have to piss

Kelly: I get afraid about things like that sometimes, too

Ben: How shall I phrase this? If you find yourself blaming yourself, you’ve got no one to blame but yourself.

Matt: Not my problem.

you guys actually knew Ovlov from the very beginning and been pals ever since

Kelly: They covered "Sink to the Bottom" by Fountains of Wayne

Ben: One word: Beer30. Many words: They are awesome, nice, fun dudes who happen to play my favorite music. I was hooked since I first heard The Valley while booking our first tour out east. We have Dan Goldin to thank for recommending we drop them a line.

Matt: I respected the sickness of their gnar and the extended feedback of their set, which I believe Ben has on video.

they've threatened to quit like 3 times and have terrible hygiene

Kelly: Theo is a major babe

Ben: For the record, they smell great. Oops, I mean grapes. They smell grapes. I actually own a hat with Steve “deshirted” on it. It’s one of my most prized possessions.

Matt: Smells come and go but Ovlov is forever.

Kelly your future in-laws place is haunted. i'm sure of it

Kelly: That might be true. One time that I stayed there, I was making some toast in the kitchen. I set it on a 6 out of 10. When it popped up like 4 minutes later it was barely toasted at all!

will i be invited back for the reunion tour to raise hell again

Kelly: If we do a reunion tour you can play the guitar at the shows

Ben: You are officially invited back for the reunion tour.

Matt: Ever hear of punctuation?  You can come on tour if you buy a really nice suit like you talked about doing.

please don't let Matt ever drive me around again. just thought i would reiterate 

Matt: I will definitely be driving you around again in the very near future for very prolonged periods of time.  Get used to it.

what's next after Geronimo!?

Kelly: Depression and snacks. Maybe a Black Sabbath cover band - this is a for real maybe

Ben: I think I’m going take some time off and just stare at stuff for a while.

Matt: Getting into the pyramid-scheme biz and making it big time.

what deals can i get through Matt on groupon?

Matt: All the deals.   Here's a good one.

Ben: Oh man, so many great deals on jacuzzis.

thank god Jose's (A Severe Joy) place wasn't haunted

Kelly: It might be. One time I stayed there and I was making some toast. I set it on a medium setting and when I went back like 4 minutes later there was no toast at all!

Ben: What??? Jose’s place burned to the ground 10 years ON THIS VERY DAY.

every time i hang out with ovlov we end up going to a mall :(

Kelly: You guys all have expensive taste in sneakers. Lots of good sneakers at the mall

Ben: That sounds awesome.

Matt: Better than hanging out with a volvo and going to the llam

i almost forgot strawpeedo and all of it's glory

Kelly: I thought you strawpeedo'd a 40 oz?

Ben: I talk about trying this infinity times more than I try it.

wats the best part of bringing hayden on tour 

Kelly: That you didn't drive

Ben: No kidding, it was really fun having Hayden along with. He’s a fun guy to have around, especially in tour situations where you don’t know anyone going into house show or something. Sort of turns us into a small posse. Plus, at times tour can get a little monotonous. When I look over and see Hayden having fun, it reminds me that, oh yeah, this IS fun. You know? Anyway, how is Hayden these days?

Matt: Kidnapping him in my car on the way to Rockford. But also he was a pleasure to have along in general.  Watching him be force fed booze on the couch in Grand Rapids.  Seeing him cross the parking lot in his wonderfully bad sweater with a hot and ready from little caesars. Going out with him to the van later that night during the show to eat a slice. That was a nice little Hayden moment.

Ben: For the record, I like your sweaters.

whats the worst part of bringing hayden on tour 

Kelly: That you didn't drive

Ben: The constant beatings. He’s merciless.

Matt: I'll say what I want.  I didn't have any objections to Hayden's presence. The inevitability of goodbye. 

i gained 10 pounds 

on a scale of 9-10 what do you give Beautiful Creatures?

Kelly: 11

Ben: a 10, duh
Matt: 10. Obviously.

when can we go back to wagon trails and i don't get harassed by camels

Kelly: In the winter is good because the camels all die by then

call me snake

sorry you have to do most of the work here; i'm pretty terrible you know

Kelly: You're an interviewing pioneer, Hayden

Ben: You’re doin’ great Snake.

i'm still pissed off that you didn't let me play Philadelphia Freedom when arriving in Philly; you stating that it was an "Elton John free van"

Kelly: I actually love the song 'Rocket Man' 

Ben: Did we really say that? Sorry Hayden, that wasn’t very cool. To be fair though, I don’t think we’ve ever played Elton John on purpose in the van...

Matt: You must have mistaken me for someone who cares.

does Ben still dig out of garbage cans in parks to find cds to listen to

Matt:  Probably

Ben: I have no shame in being a dedicated music lover.

when is the next time we'll spend some "quality time in a hot tub"? ;) 

Kelly: If we had some sort of time machine we could be in the hot tub right now

Ben: As soon as you get on those sweet Groupon jacuzzi deals!!!!

Matt: Soon I hope.  When are you getting a hot tub in Milwaukee Hayden?

i almost broke my neck falling down the stairs the next morning. that place is haunted (remember the pillow)

Kelly: I think it might be haunted. When I stayed there last time I was making some toast. I set the toaster on 5 for just a medium toasting. When I came back about 4 minutes later it was a bagel instead of bread!

Pittsburgh was a fun show but there was no toilet paper  so i had to use left over kleenex in the nearby trash can. i thought this interview could mostly be about the tour

Kelly: I think that I had to use some notebook paper 

Ben: Sometimes you gotta wipe one for the tour gods, you know?

why is taco bell so good and why didn't we go there everyday

Kelly: We did go there every day. Your tour notes seem a little unreliable

Ben: I think that was the tour where we started the rule “If you’re wondering if taco bell is a good idea, it is”. I wish we had hit it up more. Crap.

Matt: No one can explain the extravagant mysteries of taco bell's greatness.  I don't know why we didn't go there every day.  Probably to stave off the diarrhea 

remember when Darl wore a Pile shirt with Theo & Ben to make it a Pile gang? i like pile more than all of their bands combined

Kelly: I think you compare things to Pile a lot

Hail Pile
Matt: Here it is.  A hail pile.

 

you guys played with krill...(rest of this question has been omitted) 

Kelly: I thought they played really great

not even a question, just thought i would put it out there. Jonah from krill is so lazy

Matt: You love him and you know it.

every time i see krill they play i am the cherry because they don't have any better songs

Kelly: I know it's cheap to say but my favorite song is 'Infinite Power'

Matt:   Infinite Power is so dope dawg

i thought lobster was ok but not worth the effort

Kelly: I don't think I'll be eating lobster again and I can't stop thinking about the turds

Ben: For the record, it looked gross. I’m glad it happened, but yeah...

Matt:  totally agree, though the bibs were cute.

you played with Ovlov like 3 maybe 4 times on tour and they struggled  and i got way too drunk at all of them. 

Kelly: They played the greatest cover of 'Smells Like Teen Spirit' that I've ever heard in Lowell. they were all drunk and Jon was throwing beer cans at them while playing

Ben: Hayden, I think you spelled “snuggled” wrong. But yeah, they snuggled hard.

let the record show that Nick from Kal Marks owns a vhs case for Con Air but the physical copy was no where to be found

Kelly: You got it

Ben: Yeah, that’s real the reason Geronimo! is calling it quits. So much expectation, so much disappointment.

no, Electronic Parrot is not my favorite song off the new record no matter what happened in the hot tub

Kelly: That shouldn't be anyone's favorite song of anything

Ben: Hey man, your secret is safe.

Matt:  Steve from Ovlov said it's his favorite track.  I've got an electronic pet carrot, my best friend is a ferret.

Oh and don't think I forgot about Ben's cat eating my pizza
Ben: Never Forget
       #pizzamurder2014

At your last show are you gonna scream "Geronimo!" and jump off the stage?
Ben: I will jump off the stage and yell "Geronimo!" if everyone else is doing it
Kelly: At our last show I want to take my guitar and ride it like a skateboard into the audience and have people hold me up and I can pretend I'm surfing. I don't skateboard though and I'd probably injure a lot of people before dropping head first onto the ground. With my last dying words I will gargle through the blood "....geronimo"
Matt: No way.

dang it. we forgot to call the dump gal

Interview: Sioux Falls - ☜(ﾟヮﾟ☜)

how would you even interview a city

Today's interview comes from a band you've never heard of and will probably not even check out but we said some stuff about other bands you might like and it's not too difficult to read but i'm going to continue this run on sentence until it is so maybe in the meantime you could open up the sioux falls bandcamp and listen to them while reading this but i hope that the "in the meantime" line didn't trigger your love for spacehog. that song is so good



H: obviously you would never write "sometimes i cry when i masturbate" and then say it's a joke unless you really do it

SF: I actually 'always' cry when I masturbate.  it's Fred's line and he only cries 'sometimes.'  you should hit him up on myspace and talk to him about it some more.

i'm more of a dry guy when i masturbate 
thanks, I'll think about that next time I masturbate

if i send your sister a friend request what are the odds of her accepting?

420%

your sister's not really 15 you jokester and don't joke about that percentage
you're right, she turned 16 last month.  you should definitely friend her on facebook now.

comparisons to built to spill are obvious but tell me why listeners should look past that. i mean should they. 

listeners should look past our shamelessly derivative built to spill ripoff songs because we have a lot to offer in other areas- namely human friendship (we're great listeners).  again, hit up fred on myspace if you wanna talk about your personal struggles. myspace.com/JTluver91
that link doesn't work

hmmm maybe he deleted it or something.  his alternate profile is myspace.com/gilmore_gurl_lol
this one doesn't work either

use any picture you want they said

what are your thoughts on kriII because we need some kind of audience to read this. i doubt your fans (moms) will seek out much more

I think Krill is cool.  the peanut butter video gets me hot and bothered.  our moms like Krill way more than us anyway.  my mom has actually requested that infinite power play at my future son's bris. 

don't tell anyone but i really like krill's Peanut Butter but i don't care for the video. you can tell people i don't care for the video. that peanut butter doesn't look real in it

dude why?  ezra is smokin' in that video

is 12 minutes too long for a song? jesus christ

I agree it is way too long for a song.  

yes why i will use any picture i want

who wins in a fight  between me & the 3 members of sioux falls

I dunno?  what do you squat?

i don't squat but i do like 45 push-ups  and run 3-5 miles a day

you could probably take us then.  we have small weak bodies

i've actually beeen to sioux falls, south dakota. nothing special

roughly 1/3 of our impressive Facebook like total consists of (mostly middle aged, likely non built to spill-derived-indie-rock listening) residents of Sioux Falls, South Dakota so I can't knock them too hard as a community.

i really enjoy the thought that middle aged facebook users like your page solely for the reason they think it's the city of sioux falls page. it brings me so much joy
me too.  we'll take whatever we can get when it comes to Facebook likes- truly the greatest currency in indie rock.

but you're from montana. which is even less special 

montana is actually really special so I disagree with you there.

but now you're in portland you fuckin hipster

that is our current location and I am currently wearing a carhart beanie so I agree.

people that wear carhartt are almost as bad as people that wear north face. almost. actually they're both bad

sorry dude, I'm pretty sure I've owned some north face stuff in the past

i've been to portland, maine where i got high and saw the atlantic ocean for the first time

not this high 

but portlandia.... i just can't get into it

it's kinda funny

what is your beer of choice and don't tell me you're straight edge or this interview ends right now (side note: there is nothing wrong with being straight edge and if you were offended i don't know how you ended up here in the first place.) 

I only started drinking beer like a year ago cause in high school (and the few years in between then and now) I was kind of a 'loser' but now I like blue moon a lot and I often drink Tecate or Olympia or something at shows.  still not man enough for IPA's unfortunately.  that's Fred and Ben's domain.

you are playing with pile next spring and i feel so bad for pile because they deserve so much more. how do you feel about that

I also feel bad.  Pile will endure though.  they're a resilient bunch

elaborate on pile. and fidget is too one of their best songs 
Pile will keep on being Pile despite playing with grossly unworthy bands, for instance souix falls.  fidget rules but I've decided recently that special snowflakes might be their best song.  hard to choose.
you're right

when are you bozos gonna tour for real

spring 2k15 tour w/ our bros SNOW ROLLER.  probably only california again though and we're never coming to Millwake cause I don't know how to spell it and I'm not a huge jabari parker fan.

maybe i'm just saving milwaukee from undesirable acts like you and i'm the hero this city truly deserves

doesn't montana have a sizable mormon population  . are you mormon (jabari parker is mormon)

you are definitely the christian bale batman of milwake no doubt. it's not like idaho but there are definitely some mormons.  I'm actually jewish.  if that's cool with you.

i forgot how depressing empty shows is but non metaphorically i'm sure you play empty shows all the time

very true

and carl's jr is nothing special

also true

but holy heck that song is dark

it's hard to write a life affirming anthem about spending thanksgiving in carl's jr. so it did turn out kinda bleak

do you know where nebraska is yet? look at a map

I know it's pretty rectangular and near the middle of the country

wait are you buttcore or nah? i don't even care anymore 

def buttcore

did a a guy really fall into a grill and burn his face/off in front of you. face/off is a great movie.

no but I felt like if there was a song about it, it would be less likely that that would actually happen to me.  that movie rules hard.  

that's a fact

do you still work at pita pit

I'm at pita pit right now actually.

wanna know what happened when i went on tour with geronimo!?

I bet it involved miller high life and vomit so it should be a really thought provoking piece of journalism

also any progress on deducing the identity of you're impostor?   

just by asking about my impostor makes me question whether or not you're behind it 
unfortunately i'm not the impostor

also, fuck Contact

yes. fuck Contact and fuck Big Ups for loving it

what are the odds of your mom accepting my friend request? that is all

my mom doesn't have a facebook but if she'd did, she'd probably friend you first.  you're existence has caused some real tension between my parents.  she always asks me "how tall is Hayden again?  I bet he's really tall.  he's so funny and smart."

 i'm 6'3"

Interview: Washer? I Hardly Know Her!

most of you are probably asking yourself what the hell, who the hell, who the hell are washir? and also why the heck are they on a split with the very "good" Big Ups? who knows but more importantly, who cares? 

i exchanged emails with said washer and it's obvious this is one of their first and only interviews . frankly i don't know why you're still reading this unless you're related to them

wahser answers in non bold because well.. because.. 


ok will forte let's do this
first of all this isn't part of the interview but i'm just gonna let you know that joe galagagagarara sent me the big ups record last january for free so feel free to do the same with the new split my address is 3030 N Fratney St Unit 2 Milwaukee, WI 53212 

looks like a bit of a fixer-upper on google maps

now this is where the questions start. i know no one has wanted to interview [you] so this will be a nice learning experience.

someone might have mentioned to me that you got your name (washer) from the slint song but if that's true that would be a huge bummer because i really like slint...

we got our name from me doing laundry. we were almost called halliburton

why does it feel like you ripped off thumbman from someplace else . i know you've seen spy kids

Hayden Karnitz: Investigative Journalist

alan cumming can huff off.

fortunately for you i made the mistake [of] being too hungover during a layover in chicago with puke still on my shoes that i followed you back thinking you were someone else and that's how we know each other and are here today

yeah i heard you embarrassed yourself the night before that

who wins in a fight between you and joe from big ups. i don't think he could beat anyone up. he's soft

correct

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dryer_(band)

they seem nice 

wtf https://washer.bandcamp.com/

"8 Bit Baby Makin'"

remember when you sent me your early demos and told me not to share and i didn't and you never thanked me

yes

thanks for skipping the TWO geronimo! shows in brooklyn by the way

10/25 @ silent barn, where were you?

the shows in May dipshit

where do you think you'll rank, if ranked, on my best of 2014 list?

not ranked

are you afraid to leave brooklyn? you don't tour for shit

we did a small tour and are doing another one. we just have no desire to go to milwaukee

when is flagland gonna release awesome song

idk why don't you interview them

your opinion on contact starring jodie foster? it was a topic in the big ups interview and joe was wrong

haven't seen it in 10+ years and kieran's never seen it

i am unemployed

we used to make things in this country. what happened?

area dads say 

(you're 23 years old we know you've been smoking pot)

i'm not gonna talk about krill in this interview.

there are 4 open krill tabs in the screen shot below

do you ever see washer "drying" out anytime soon and then "folding" to be put away

yes

do you have any quarters. i have to do laundry 

get a job

please recommend me something good to listen to that i probably haven't yet

glen and the boys

too many cooks will spoil the broth

kieran makes great stews

wait. are you even the guy that looks like will forte or is that the other guy

haha get a better picture says them 

the deli can huff off too.

 waffle crisp is truly the best cereal

you're too old for cereal

i almost got hit by a car today on my bike and after my life flashed before my eyes it upset me to realize that all i'll leave behind for someone to remember me is a few good tweets.what's next for "washer"?

are they good though? we're gonna do another split 7" and a full length in 2015. that's the plan anyway.

when did ""washer"" begin and why. what is your favorite Ernest movie?

may 2013. we lived together for about 3 years before thinking to play music together.

the trolls in Ernest Scared Stupid scared the hell out of me when I was little.

career highlight: where does this interview rank?

worse than breaking up but not as bad as playing at SUNY Purchase.

well obviously washer is terrible at interviews so this is all you get, sorry. i'm pretty drunk and going to bed