Power Rankings: 1/18

i'm going to start ranking bands much like you would sports teams. i like sports. i hope tom brady tears his ACL tomorrow in the first quarter. maybe they released something new i'm digging or they're really old bums but i'm still diggin em. do honey smacks still exist? i haven't had a bowl of those probably since 2007. oh and earlier i think i might have suffered hearing damage in my left ear at work, but whatever. can't make those guns out of foam and duct tape. right now i'm eating chocolate chip waffles and beer and drinking wine. in bed. 

1. Lint - curse thee a great discovery that just missed out on my best of shit list because now it's 2014. sorry i was browsing pirates on wikipedia for 3 hours earlier. how many years until the rapture? OR did the rapture already happened and we are doomed to go on with this existence. anyways this is the reason why they are number one

2. Junius - damn, there's this new hot track giving a glimpse of what i've been missing so much since 2011. february is gonna be a pretty gosh darn good month.
but i fricken refuse to pay $4.50 for a Junius beer coozie. that's fucking ridiculous. 

3. Fax Holiday - first of all a lot of you are making a big mistake by not checking this out right now. i know you're just skimming through and you didn't listen to it. ok listen to it. now.  ....................................... get a taste yet? what i would do to get drunk at a fax holiday show that i would probably end up crying at. i tell you what man, i'll write a blank check {$32.48 currently in my checking account, [jk actually over $600]} and we'll make it happen. shit fuck cut from cloth hits me just as hard as chameleon does. 
jesus christ i just listened to it again and should move fax to number 1 but i've been listening to it for weeks now so we'll just keep it here, not to overindulge and i'm not editing shit

4. Grass is Greem - i still can't decide if vacation vinny is better than yeddo or not. that being said vv is ranked no lower than 2 in my top gIg albums. cum nut it would be 1 or 2 but apparently some postman does not care for post dick wave. or it's something else. i sense a conspiracy 

5. Dead Wives - soon the reason will be clear. very soon. but not too soon but i suppose sometime this week. oh and i finally saw dead wives live and had an epiphany and from here on out i will only do good for the world and its inhabitants 
this wine is shitty 

6. Big Ups - they probably just did the best interview they'll ever do in their [probably short] career. please stop emailing me carlos about your nerd games. it's getting annoying. good luck in the uk. 
Galarraga Galarraga Galarraga Galarraga Galarraga Galarraga Galarraga Galarraga 
Galarraga Galarraga Galarraga Galarraga Galarraga Galarraga Galarraga Galarraga Galarraga Galarraga 
Galarraga Galarraga Galarraga Galarraga Galarraga Galarraga Galarraga Galarraga Galarraga Galarraga 
Galarraga Galarraga Galarraga Galarraga Galarraga Galarraga Galarraga 
there it's settle. i am better than that other website 

7. Sat. Nite Duets - oh boy these fellas got themselves another classic music vid like them boys down in ol mil wa key do best. sorry i watched hee haw earlier and now i'm f'ed in the head a bit. 

8. Frankie Cosmos - yeah i guess this is a pretty good spot. good work aaron maine. unfortunately i won't be able to buy that new album as i refuse to buy anything from double double whammy because of that one time i accidentally bought a sirs album with a cantaloupe that had a face carved into it or something. 
ok i actually listened to it and i MAY get it.

9. Krill - be careful clicking on each turd. only one of the turds will lead you to the real turd. turd. turd. turd. turd. turd.

find it yet? it's ok if you didn't/ i mean i'll look at you the same and you've probably heard it already. release the new disco doom single dan. you know which one. i've been drinking and watching that video over and over again like i've done in the past. 
ok now i've downloaded that video (through illegal sources) and edited it to just the song. drastic times call for drastic measures.

10. Trail of Dead - anytime i hear there's gonna be new ToD i get excited. pretty lame sentence there, huh. but i really don't know what to expect. also count midnight masses at this spot too. 
fight me jason reece and then accept my friend request on facebook. it's been like 3 years, c'mon.

11. Princess Reason - holy shit. this just came out so i must update the p-rankings and make it an even eleven. 

Outside lookin in: Disco Doom (they will not be in the top ten until the new song is released) Meat Wave, Tungsten, Heaven for Real, Euphoria Again, Like Like The The The Death

288. Ava Luna